If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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