out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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