My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
