I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
