Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
