She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
