If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
