All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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