i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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