No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
