dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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