She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize