Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
