I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
