VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i love accidental penises.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
