I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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