One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
