Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
