I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
