I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
