then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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