you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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