He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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