Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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