i will never coherently bang her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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