Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize