season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
