she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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