When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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