New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
