Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize