i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
