No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
