yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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