Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
