David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
