he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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