This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
