I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
