i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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