I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
