i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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