Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
