ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
