That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
