First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
