the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
