I hate your face
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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