I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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