she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
