well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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