My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
