Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
