i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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