Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize