you win again, gameday.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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