The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize