Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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