Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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