Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
