I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
