I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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