last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize