Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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