I think i peed on brittanys purse
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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