This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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