Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
someone get that fucking seahorse.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
