she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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