Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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