Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
