I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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