Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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