this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
