ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
