You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize