Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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