I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
