Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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