Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize